25 THINGS I HAVE LEARNED AT 25

I can’t believe I am a quarter of a century old. Looking back on my 25 years of life, I have truly learned so much. Here are my top life lessons:

  1. Quality over quantity applies to everything: Friendships, food, etc. It’s not necessary to have tons and tons of friends, unless the truly care about you. Think about your current friends, do all of them truly support you? If the answer for some of them is no, you probably shouldn’t have them in your life. They say you have friends for a season, reason or lifetime.

  2. Save your money EARLY. Saying YOLO and splurging every day doesn’t really work when you think about how long life actually is. You will eventually want to buy a house, and buying is EXPENSIVE. So make sure you save. The generation of millennials on average do not save… So stand out from the crowd and be smart with your money.

  3. Your intuition is always right, don’t ignore it. When you have a feeling in your gut about something, trust it. It will always be right.

  4. Sink care is #1. ALWAYS take your makeup off at night,  always moisturize and wear SUNSCREEN. Being tan is awesome, but we are lucky enough to have amazing self tanners now a days! You don’t want to be old and wrinkly, and you also definitely don’t want to get skin cancer. Take care of yourself.

  5. Your opinion of yourself is the only one that matters. Deep down, you know who you are. Find yourself, love yourself, and don’t let anyones opinions of you drag you down.

  6. It’s okay to be a risk taker and stray from the crowd.  Look at me! I didn’t do the “normal thing.” I took a risk (a crazy big risk) and invested all my own money in MYSELF because I believed in myself. I started my own company at 23 and I am so thankful I did.

  7. Not everyone will like you, and thats okay. You are who you are. If other people don’t like that, don’t stress about it. You don’t need to please everyone because thats actually impossible.

  8. Never take life for granted. Life is truly so precious. We are not guaranteed to have tomorrow and anything can happen in life. Would you be happy with the last thing you said to a loved one? With the last thought you had about them? It’s like the saying, “never go to bed angry,” well, I think you should never leave someone angry. Love your family, love your friends and be kind to others.

  9. You need to prioritize your mental health. You know the saying, “you can’t love someone else until you love yourself?” Well, that is 100% true. You need to prioritize your physical health and your mental health.

  10. Hurt people, hurt people. This one took years and years of learning, and it’s still somewhat hard to accept, but I know it’s true. If someone is mean to you, it’s a reflection of how they feel about themselves, not how they feel about you.

  11. You can’t plan out your future, life happens. Life is unpredictable, and if you are living under the assumption that it’s not, you might miss out on big opportunities. Some of the biggest things that have happened in my life have been unplanned. If you work hard every day, and work towards a future that you want, life will work out.

  12. Travel as much as you can and make as many memories as you can. Traveling is SO important. Don’t waste your money on things, spend it on travel. Travel with your significant other and grow your relationship, travel alone and find yourself, travel with your family. Just travel.  

  13. Date for marriage/Every relationship is a lesson. If you are dating someone and you’re not really feeling it, don’t stay with them and waste your time. You should only date someone if you can truly see a future with them. Dating is SUPER important though. I would have never known Jon was the one if I hadn’t learned from my pervious relationships. If you are going through a tough breakup, view it as a learning lesson and know how you deserve to be treated.

  14. It’s okay to not be okay. We are all human, it’s okay to be vulnerable and surrender to your feelings. Sometimes you need to cry it out, sometimes you need to talk it through. Do it. Feel everything you need to feel. Suppressing your feelings won’t help anyone.

  15. Don’t waste your time trying to make people agree with you. If they don’t, they don’t. Move on. Majority of the time, people are going to stick with that they know. You don’t need to waste you time proving yourself. Focus on being a good person and being you.

  16. Some people actually are toxic for you and you need to stay away from them if they drain you.  Personally, I am such a people pleaser and I want to be there for everyone, but I have learned that some people don’t deserve you. If someone doesn't support you, doesn’t believe in you and doesn’t approve of you, get them out of your life. They will only hurt you more.

  17. Social media is a highlight reel. No one is happy and having fun every second of every day. Remember that. This is something I learned while in college. I realized that some people just go out to get a suer fun photo for social media and then they go home. Someone could be having a miserable day but post a photo like it was the best day ever. Make sure you understand this about social media so it doesn’t become toxic. Take every post with a grain of salt.

  18. Network. Everyone you meet can ALWAYS teach you something. No matter if they are 5 years old or 50. Take time to talk to people. You are never too old to learn something new, and you are never smart enough to be the smartest person in the room.

  19. You don’t get anything you don’t ask for. My mom really engrained this on me. You are the only person in control if your future. Make it what you want. 

  20. Learn how to take a break. You don’t need to grind 24/7 or your WILL crash and burn. Life is about balance. Our society tells us that we need to constantly be working to be successful, but that isn’t necessarily true. If you pour every bit of yourself into your job, what else is left? You need to have a life outside of your career so you don’t crash and burn. This doesn’t mean don’t work your ass off, but it means to figure out what the right balance is for YOU.

  21. Children and dogs can always lighten your mood. Remember that when you need a stress reliever. This may seem like a funny or odd life lesson, but it’s just a reminder to slow down in life. A dog can always make you smile and a kid can always make you laugh.

  22. Confidence is KEY. Learn how to sell yourself and perfect that elevator pitch. You are the only YOU. You are special and that is your superpower. 

  23. Help people and give as much as you can. Giving doesn’t have to be giving money, give your time, give your kindness. Giving back will help others, and it will help you as well.

  24. Call your parents and grandparents. You can learn so much from them . Never take them for granted. Someday, when they are no longer with you, you will always wish you had 5 more minutes, take the 5 minutes and give them a call.

  25. You are never alone. Whether you believe in God or not, He is always on your side.

WHY SELF LOVE IS SO IMPORTANT

With the whole feminist movement and women empowerment going on nowadays, why do women still body shame other women!? I just don't get it. 

Lately, I have noticed a lot of negativity on social media. No matter what the girl looks like in the photo, there is always a negative comment. She's either “too fat” or “too skinny.” And it doesn't end with just weight; women are scrutinized for everything. If she is not wearing enough clothing, she a slut, if she's wearing something too conservative, she's a prude. If she has 6 pack abs, she's too manly, but if she's has a bit of a tummy, she needs to go to the gym. 

Personally, I have felt the scrutiny on both sides. When I was younger, I grew super fast, so I was always very thin. People would comment on my social media that I was too thin and was somehow promoting a bad image. Alternatively, when I walked into a top modeling agency, they inferred that I might be too fat for their clients. This was very confusing for a developing young girl.

What I have learned is that there is no single perfect way to be. You will never please everyone and you are always going to have critics, especially when you put yourself out there. What you do need to be though is HAPPY. Being happy is the single most important thing in all aspects of life. Be happy with who you are. Be happy in the body God gave you. Be happy that you get to live your own special life! Being happy breeds self-confidence. If you are confident in who you are, negativity cannot affect you. If you are confident in who you are, you also won’t feel the need to compare yourself to others. 

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I think as women, we need to build each other up. We need to continue to build up each others confidence and remember that we all have insecurities. No one in this world is perfect. I always try to compliment others as part of my daily routine. It makes me feel good as much as I hope it make the person I am complimenting feel. Positivity breeds happiness!

At the end of the day, we all need to focus on self acceptance. We need to embrace the differences in people because thats what makes all of us appreciate each other. With self acceptance, we should also focus on self improvement. Self improvement is what drives us to be better humans. I believe that we can always be better. We can always be nicer, we can always be stronger, we can always be smarter. There is no limit to what we can achieve in this life. 

Let me know your thoughts in the comments & spread a little kindness today!

Xx

Molly J

CREATE YOUR OWN PATH

According to Urban Dictionary, a Girl boss is: “A woman in control, taking charge of her own circumstances in work & life. Someone who knows her worth and won't accept anything less. She is empowering and inspiring to those around her. She kicks ass! A girl boss knows that if you don't have big dreams and goals, that you'll end up working really hard for someone who does.”

To me, a #GirlBoss is a woman that wants to make a positive impact on the world. She has big dreams and aspirations and she is willing to turn those dreams into reality. She has passion and drive. She is 100% confident in who she is and what she wants in life. She doesn’t let anything hold her back.

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I always loved the idea of entrepreneurship and being my own boss. This was exemplified to me growing up because my parents each own their own separate businesses. In fact, my younger brother started his own business before me while in high school! I guess my family just breeds entrepreneurs. 

The term “Girl Boss” is meant to empower and uplift other women. Some could think that using the word “girl” this way is demeaning, but I choose to look at it as powerful. Everything in life is about perspective and how we view it. I am choosing to view #girlboss as a positive, driving force. 

When I was younger, and still to this day, I always thought it was so cool that my mom owned her own business. Growing up with this example made me the person I am today. Her business was 100% self made and that is what I wanted to be able to do with my business. I started this company with zero investors and no financial help from my family. I wanted to start my company this way so that I wouldn’t be in debt to anyone right out of the gate. Also, by starting my company this way, I can confidently say that Molly J Swimwear is mine. Yes, I probably would be able to scale my company a whole lot faster if I had a lot of capital to work with, but I do think there is something very empowering about doing it all on my own. When I look back, I know I will be happy that I will be able to say “Molly J Swimwear was self made.” 

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Now, I am not diminishing any business or individual who gets help along the way or gets help with the initial investment. My mom got a small loan to start her own business and was able to pay it off in the first month. I think people helping people is a really great thing and something we all should strive to do. I know my mom may not have funded my business, but I have been able to pick her brain and learn from her in ways that are much more valuable than money at this point! 

I am proud to be a Girl Boss and I want to inspire other girls and women to live to their fullest potential. There is always a difference between people who succeed and people who don’t. The people who succeed believe they can regardless of what anyone else thinks. Success is about believing in yourself and having the confidence to know your worth. We are only as good as our mindset. 

What do you think about being a #GirlBoss? Are you an entrepreneur? Let me know in the comments!! 

Xx

Molly J